Lord Cirdan's Sea Girl
by sylc
Summary: Lord Círdan and King Gil-galad were fishing on the sea... a poem reminiscent of Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter".


Lord Círdan and King Gil-galad  
Were sailing on the sea.  
Lord Círdan held a fishing rod,  
The King a cup of tea.

The day was proving hot and slow  
And Gil-galad was bored.  
And Círdan's droning fishing ode  
Soon made him quite annoyed.

"You fishhead!" he cried suddenly.  
"We've sat out here all day,  
And all you have to show for lunch  
Is one lousy osprey."

The shipwright cast the bird of prey  
A very sorry look.  
He'd killed it accidentally  
Whilst casting out a hook.

"My friend," said Gil-galad. "You are  
Far too fond of the sea.  
No wonder you are skin and bones  
For weeks you've drunk just tea.

"No wonder you see naught of love;  
You have no sex appeal.  
And when you do walk on the shore.  
It's just to chase a seal."

"I do know love," Lord Círdan said,  
And looking quite upset.  
"My love is just different from yours.  
And many times more wet."

"More wet?" the King said, eyebrows raised.  
"I don't know what you mean.  
But from the red look on your face  
I gather it's not clean."

"I don't mean that!" Lord Círdan cried.  
He was now quite undone.  
"I meant to say, 'I have a love  
And they're my moon and sun'."

"You have a love?" the King echoed.  
A frown upon his face.  
"But Círdan dear, you're always here  
Miles from the female race."

"From elves perhaps," Lord Círdan said,  
"But not from whalish pearls.  
Look overboard my friend and see  
Lord Ulmo's servant girls."

The King did so and gasped and swore  
On seeing down below  
A swarm of smiling, gorgeous maids  
Following in a row.

"As you can see," Lord Círdan said,  
"They have no legs or feet.  
Instead they have long furry tails  
And swim all in a fleet.

"Behold around them schools of fish.  
They're fishing just like me.  
With bubbles herd the fish quite close  
Then pick them off for tea."

"They seem successful in their work,"  
Observed the King. "And why!  
There're plenty fish for all of us  
So why're we high and dry?"

"Unfortunately," Círdan said,  
"They're keeping all the catch.  
See how they pick the fish away  
From our hook when they latch."

"And why do not you do something  
About them?" asked the King.  
Lord Círdan sighed. "I have no heart  
To do that sort of thing.

"I said before I love a girl  
Who swims amongst this sort.  
She loves me too, but not so much  
To halt her cousins' sport."

"That's ludicrous," Gil-galad cried.  
"Why that's not love at all.  
She's starving you to death for fun.  
True love has no such gall."

"You think?" sniffed Círdan anxiously.  
"It's true: I ache to munch.  
My stomach growls so much these days:  
There's never any lunch."

"Show me this selfish wench of yours,"  
Said Gil-galad. "I'll hear  
What this lass really thinks of you  
With my court-sharped old ears."

Lord Círdan went agreeably  
To fetch some hithlain string.  
He tossed the end over the side,  
Then proceeded to sing:

"Oh pretty girl, seal-girl of mine,  
The girl I do adore.  
Do please come up and meet my friend:  
An elven King of lore."

"And what do I get in return  
For stranding on your ship?"  
A voice sung back from underneath  
The peeling ship's white tip.

Lord Círdan looked at Gil-galad  
Apologetically.  
"She wants a bribe, but all I have  
Are barrels of stale tea."

"That can't be true," the King replied.  
"What of your gold, your pearls?  
Your mithril rings, your rubies bright?  
You gave all to those girls?"

Lord Círdan now began to cry.  
"I see my folly now:  
I flung away all of my wealth  
Upon a heartless cow."

"Sea-cow indeed," Gil-galad said.  
"She's tricked my fishing friend.  
He slipped off his glittering crown.  
Then called, "Come up you fiend.

"I'll give you Lindon: all of it.  
Just come up for a chat."  
And within moments, the sea-girl  
Was up for her new hat.

Lord Círdan wept. "My friend, you fool.  
You're turning into me.  
Oh please don't repeat my mistake  
And gamble with the sea."

"I've listened well, Lord Círdan dear,"  
The King replied. "Don't fear,  
For all is under my control:  
No need to shed a tear."

On saying this he seized his sword  
And carved the wench right up.  
He then turned to his staring friend  
And gaily said, "Let's sup."


End file.
